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[personal profile] ahf
I had a nightmare last night. All the things I had ever written in LJ had been put together as part of the write a book in November thing (yeah, I know it is still October) and published. Now I didn't have an issue with what I had said being published, but everyone was ripping apart my lack of command of the English language. There were wrong words, wrong spelling, sentences that were not complete (someone was using the old diagram a sentence thing that I hate to demonstrate that) Lots of picking on what I said and what I really meant, some of it like the MST3K that was done of the Anne Rice letter recently. Basically complete ridicule of my writing and me as a person because of my writing, no one ever wanted to speak to me again, I was just too dumb for all of them.

When I woke up from that I was shaking and terrified, could not even think about going back to sleep. So, I got up and did the only thing that seemed logical at 4:37 am, deleted every entry I had ever made in my LJ. I am somewhat sad that I did it, but in my mind at the time, it made perfect sense. I got back to sleep just before the alarm went off I think.


Date: 2003-10-17 08:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] caulay.livejournal.com
And I'm sorry I put that idea in your head.


Re: Sorry!

Date: 2003-10-17 08:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ahf.livejournal.com
It is a valid point, that even locked posts are still accessible to some. As I said, it was not the fact that it got published that bothered me, it was how everyone reading it reacted.

Date: 2003-10-17 09:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skorzy.livejournal.com
Largest problem with LJ is the lack of tools to archive past posts. I wish there was a convenient way to download your posts, received comments in their threaded order, and save them in a user-friendly format.

Date: 2003-10-17 09:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] harlequinaide.livejournal.com
It's possible to get posts, but not comments. And really, that takes all the fun out of it. . .

Date: 2003-10-17 09:26 am (UTC)
mizarchivist: (Default)
From: [personal profile] mizarchivist
Ok. So, if someone puts together some software to successfully do just this, s/he will get very rich.

So, someone please get busy, as I've always wanted to be able to save my journal in its entirety NOT online

Date: 2003-10-18 12:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eyesys.livejournal.com
Oh dear...

Well, I can't speak for everyone else, but I take you seriously! *hugs* Sometimes people who enter a lot of stuff you might not read every single thing...but when I see a post from you, I pay attention. If you dreamed about this, you must be feeling "not heard" or judged on a certain level.

I know how that feels...sometimes it's not really others' reactions to you in a direct way at all, but a coloration of your perception of how the world might view you by the actions of one or two close people. The feeling of not being taken seriously can be triggered if you are around, say, someone who just walks all over your speech when you are trying to talk, as if you aren't even there. I think that tends to make you think *everyone* doesn't take you seriously...even the person not listening to you probably takes you more seriously than you think...but they just like to hear themselves talk. Or if you have someone in your life who is constantly correcting you, as if the assumption is that they are your superior. Subconsciously, this can have an effect and make you think that you are being criticized by everyone, whether or not they directly express it.

*huggles you* I think you are a very intelligent, wise person and I like hearing what you have to say. Sometimes what you say makes more sense than anyone else I know.


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